Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Release Boost - Love Divide by Cary Hart @authorcaryhart




Title: Love Divide
Series: Battlefield of Love #2
Author: Cary Hart
Genre: Contemporary Romance
Release Date: October 5, 2017



Blurb

What happens when something you were not looking for comes along, and it's more than you ever could have imagined?

Changing you.

How do you live with yourself when you look in the mirror and don’t recognize the broken reflection staring back? Because it makes you do things that you never expected you were capable of.

Will a heart that's been torn in two pieces keep on beating? I'm about to find out.

Love Divided. The decision should be easy... It isn't.





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Excerpt

Prologue

Niki
What happens when something you weren’t looking for comes along, and it’s more than you ever could have imagined? Making you do things you never thought you were capable of…changing you?
Dance with me.
Three simple words, demanding, challenging…tempting.
He came into my life, flipping it upside down, causing me to turn into someone I didn’t recognize. Secrets blurring lines between fantasy and reality.
Closing my eyes, clearing my thoughts, I push the demons down, ignoring the temptation that screams for me to run toward it instead of fighting against it. Those inner demons, creating a battlefield, dividing the heart.
I wasn’t always like this. There was a time when I was searching for something more. Anything that would give me a reason to care. Someone to tell me they wanted me.
Needed me.
I thought I had it but was too afraid of losing everything. Of losing the comfort of his security.
But, those three little words were all it took for me to freefall over that line. Risking it all.

**********

“Dance with me.” His gravelly voice tempts me over the pulsating beat bumping through the speakers.
No he didn’t? I swing around ready to give this guy my best “back the fuck up” glare… only it doesn’t come. Steely blue eyes meet mine, throwing me off balance.
“Now.” His hand reaches for my elbow, steadying me.
“I can’t…” I nod back to Aubrey, who looks like she doesn’t have a care in the world, but I know different. This is her first weekend without her daughter, Reece, since she and her ex-husband got a divorce.
“Yes, you can, and you will.” His hand slides from my elbow to my hand, his grip firm and strong.
Everything about this moment is more than just an invitation to dance.
Intense.
The way his eyes land on mine. The way he tugs me across the dance floor and into a dark corner.
Dangerous.
“Here.” He yanks my hand, causing my body to collide with his.
“Oh!” It slips out before I have a chance to stop it.
“Yeah. Oh.” He smirks before he pulls me in tighter, and I can feel every single ridge of muscle hidden behind his suit and tie. “Just feel it. Feel us.” He begins to rock back and forth. Too slow for the music, but it’s a rhythm that promises more.
Throwing my arms over his shoulders, I let go.
Our bodies tangle. Eyes singing the forbidden lyrics, song after song. My mouth dying to taste the unspoken words.
Raising a hand, he tucks my hair behind my ear, before leaning in, whispering, “I’m going to kiss you now.” His words are a warning, not a question.
I nod, giving him the permission he doesn’t need.
His steel eyes pin me in place as he lowers his mouth so close I can taste the scotch on his breath. Hovering. Teasing.
He is a predator and I’m his prey. I have nowhere to go, nothing to do but wait for his attack. My mouth waters; my body waits to be devoured.
“But first…” His eyes leave mine, scanning the crowd before he spins me around and slams my back against the metal wall. My back arches away from the cold and settles into the warmth of his arms as his mouth comes crashing down on mine.
Captivated.






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UK / CA / AU

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Author Bio


Cary Hart hails from the Midwest. A sassy, coffee drinking, sometimes sailor swearing (Shhh… don’t tell.), wine sipping, Spotify addict, lover of all things books!

When not pushing women down the stairs in the fictional world, Cary has her hands full. She is blessed to be the sports mom of two wild and crazy, spoiled kiddos, and wife to the most supportive husband (took a few years to train). In addition to working full time, she bakes cookies on the side to fund her newly found love of writing and to keep her Sephora VIB Rouge status. The addiction is real, folks!

Believe it or not, writing was never a dream for Cary. Reading was something she never enjoyed growing up. All it took was one friend, who went MIA for a weekend on a book binge, to share her passion and loan an ebook, lighting a fire inside her.  Two years, and hundreds of ebooks later, she connected with one of her favorite authors, who patiently listened to her plot ideas. Her encouragement and saying those three little words “You write it!” changed everything!

So, welcome! Hop on board, and enjoy the ride!


Author Links




Blog Tour - IN PIECES by Danielle Pearl @DaniPearlAuthor

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In Pieces, an all-new brother’s-best-friend standalone from Danielle Pearl is availanow NOW!

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In Pieces by Danielle Pearl

Genre: New Adult Romance

Publishing Date: October 10th, 2017

Three years ago she was left in pieces . . . Most college freshmen love the newfound freedom of living on campus, but none of them craves it like Beth Caplan. One ill-fated night when she was fifteen left her locked in a posh prison of private tutors. It's for the best, everyone said, and maybe it was. But after years of hard work and healing, the one person who never thought of her as broken could be the one to break her all over again. And Beth can't seem to stay away now any more than she could all those years ago.
As soon as David March learned his best friend's little sister was enrolling at his school, he promised to look after her, and promised himself he'd keep a safe distance. But the sweet little girl he'd grown up with has transformed into a gorgeous young woman, and she's attracting attention from people she shouldn't-like the ex who nearly destroyed her and a strange new student with a disturbing habit of showing up wherever Beth goes. But for David, the most troubling discovery is realizing that he doesn't just want Beth to be safe. He wants her to be his.

Excerpt:

David Present Day Beth slams the door of the Uber and runs barefoot into the building, her heels dangling from her hand by their straps. I give her a thirty-second head start, clenching my jaw shut to resist calling after her with something I might regret, knowing my temper and the still-potent buzz of alcohol have the potential to create the perfect storm right now. Beth bypasses the small elevator bank and veers left toward the stairwell, heaving the door open and making sure to slam it loudly behind her. I shake my head in disapproval, wanting to berate her for even that—taking the stairs alone at night when she knows the elevators are safer. Even if the small part of my brain that’s still somewhat rational admits that my building is relatively safe in general. But it’s her mentality that’s making me crazy. With everything going on right now, and everything she knows about this fucked- up world, why would she take risks with her safety at all? I shove my hand through my hair and slam my foot into the doorjamb. I just can’t fucking believe her right now! And she has the balls to stomp away from me as if I’m the fucking bad guy? I haven’t had much occasion for indignation in my life, but right now it’s making me grind my teeth into fucking dust. Because the reality is Beth could get hurt again. She could get hurt worse. My brain gets caught on that last thought, and I can’t get past it no matter how hard I try. It rages through me until my blood boils over, the buzz of alcohol feeding the flames like gasoline as they fire me back into motion. I crush what’s left of my cigarette under my shoe, and march up the rest of the steps and down our hallway. I’m already reaching for the door with my keys when I realize it’s fucking ajar, and the sight of it incenses me even more. Could she possibly be any more cavalier with her goddamned safety? It’s after one in the motherfucking morning! Who the hell leaves their front door open in the middle of the night like an invitation for trouble? Especially someone who, on top of everything else, just spent the entire fucking night drinking. She once told me she thought I was trouble. She has no fucking idea what trouble even is. I barge through the door, all out of patience and ready to tell her off, but the apartment is dark, the only light glowing from the crack beneath the bedroom door. Beth’s presence would be impossible to miss, though, what with the sound of her tramping around the room, violently yanking and slamming drawers like she wants the whole damned building to feel her wrath. Well, at least that’s one feeling that is definitely fucking mutual. I throw the bedroom door open with more force than I intend, and Beth jumps at the reverberating bang as it smacks against the opposite wall. But she catches herself without even glancing my way, continuing about her business like I don’t even fucking exist. My outrage dissipates as I take her in. Her long blonde hair is haphazardly piled on top of her head, and she’s already changed into a T-shirt and yoga pants. My eyes get stuck on her ass for several seconds before I even process the fact that she’s shoving her shit into her duffle bag. She yanks open another drawer—the one I’d cleared for her bras and underwear—and panic rolls through me. It doesn’t mix well with the indignation. Or the booze. Somehow I manage to force enough patience to keep from unloading my every grievance on her at once, and I just stand here glowering, biting back every word I couldn’t wait to get out just moments ago—those words now lodged uncomfortably in my throat, held hostage by that fucking duffel. And suddenly I resent that, too. The fact that Beth has the nerve to vilify me for looking out for her. For taking her out to do something she fucking loves. But more than anything, I resent that I fucking care. That the sight of her packing her things affects me. Not just my feelings—my motherfucking feelings—but my actions, too. It gives her a kind of control—power. It’s not a dynamic I’m used to with women, and it’s left me a little lost and a lot confused. And even more pissed the fuck off. It’s enough to demolish even my pretense of patience, my composure shattering in one fell swoop, and I spring into action, thrusting myself in front of her in challenge. “’The fuck are you doing?” I demand. Beth’s jaw locks, but she just sidesteps around me. “Beth,” I warn. She snatches handfuls of panties from her drawer—my drawer—with enough hostility that I worry for the integrity of the delicate lace, and my inebriated mind actually pities them until I remember it’s me she’s fucking pissed at. The appearance of her underwear doesn’t help my focus, either. But watching her shove them purposefully into her bag snaps me back to reality. Or it snaps me the fuck out of my Beth-panty-coma, at least. “What the fucking hell are you doing?” I repeat as calmly as I can manage—which, it turns out, isn’t calm at all. But where the hell does she think she’s going in the middle of the goddamned night? “Taking my stuff and going back to my dorm,” Beth deadpans, and it takes me a second to realize she’s not actually kidding. I shake my head and grab her upper arms. “The fuck you are!” Beth wrenches from my grip, and I have to release her or risk hurting her, which is not a fucking option. “The fuck I am, is right!” she shouts, skirting back around me to stuff more clothes into her bag. And, finally, I lose it. I grab the offending fucking duffle and flop it upside-down, shaking it violently until all of her shit falls onto my bed in an unceremonious pile of all things Beth. “What the hell are you doing!” she hisses, climbing onto the bed to regather her clothes. I don’t even think. I take hold of her calves and jerk her knees straight, and she squeals with surprise, falling facedown onto the bed, right atop the heap of clothing. But I don’t back off. I grab her hips and flip her onto her back in one not-so-smooth movement, bending over her and planting my palms on either side of her face in a makeshift cage. Beth’s lips part in a small o of shock, but she can’t escape my gaze, trapped beneath me like she is. But that goes both ways, and I force myself to close my eyes, and inhale a choppy rush of air before meeting hers. Something changes when I reopen my eyes. Beth’s temper seems to have dissipated, her dark blonde brows pulled together in helpless bemusement. Her eyes are deep blue oceans, and they draw me in like an undertow, luring me into their shallows before drowning me in their depths. But, somehow, they calm me, and the anger is drained right out of me as something tugs inside my chest. For a moment I forget how we even got here. All I register are her sharp, shallow breaths as they whisper against my lips in soft gusts. Somewhere in the back of my mind I know this is dangerous—her lying beneath me like this. It calls to that reckless part of me. The same part that risked dancing with her tonight…that wants to just say fuck it, again and again and again. The part that can’t remember the reasons to stay away. Beth’s tongue darts out to lick her bottom lip, and my dick jumps in my jeans, still swollen and aching, which it has been all night on some level or another. I suck in an uneven breath, the air hissing between my teeth, and I know I need to either get off of her or inside her in the next sixty seconds

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Read Today!

Add to Goodreads: http://bit.ly/29TYZHf

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About the Author:

Danielle Pearl is the Amazon and iBooks international best selling author of the Something More series. She lives in New Jersey with her husband and three children. She is a life long book enthusiast who has been writing ever since she could hold a pencil. Danielle went to Boston University and worked in marketing before she published her first novel, Normal in 2014. She writes mature Mature Young Adult and New Adult Contemporary Romance.

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Connect with the Author:

Twitter: @DaniPearlAuthor

Blog Tour - Tempt The Playboy by Natasha Madison










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play·boy
ˈplāˌboi/
noun
a wealthy man who spends his time enjoying himself, especially one who behaves irresponsibly or is sexually promiscuous.
Synonyms: socialite, pleasure seeker.



Noah
I have it all, money, looks, and any woman I want.
Till I meet her and my universe is knocked on its ass and she wants nothing to do with me.

Kaleigh
My motto: never date the same man twice. I have less chance of breaking my heart that way.
Till my eyes land on the only man I’ll break my rule for.

She thinks she can run. That I’ll let her get away.

He thinks he can handle a woman like me.
He has no idea.

A man who has it all needs one thing and one thing only. A temptress.

Watch me Tempt the Playboy.





Watch the trailer HERE







Noah



I wave goodbye to the blonde standing at her door wearing her pink kimono and nothing else as I am pulling away from the curb. I turn on the music, but it’s not on long before I see a call coming in from Austin.



“Go for Ho,” I say to him.



“Where are you at eight a.m. on a Sunday?” he asks me.



“That you even ask this makes me question how well you know me.”



“Fuck off. You can go a Saturday without having sex and your dick won’t fall off. You know this, right?”

Is he serious with this question?



“I don’t even know who you are right now. I think the problem is that you haven’t used your dick since Lauren fucked your balls up.”



“My balls became the fucking size of watermelons. That shit was not funny.”



I burst out laughing. “Dude, they were not pretty. I thought they’d explode and you’d have just your testicles left on the floor.”



“You better have deleted those fucking pictures that I saw you take.”



“Delete them? Fuck, it’s my screen saver at work and on my phone. I might get a T-shirt made with that image.”



“You’re an asshole.”

I smirk at his insult.



“I’ve been called much, much worse,” I inform him. I mean, just last week I was called a cocksucker, which is totally not true, because I will not be sucking any cock at any time. Ever.



“Anyway, brunch, pick me up at noon,” he demands.



“You live next door now. Can’t you walk over?” He moved in within two weeks of seeing the house. It was so fast and came almost furnished, so he was in within a day.



“Fine, I’ll walk over at noon. Be ready.”



“Later, princess.” I disconnect the call as soon as I arrive home, pulling my car into the garage. At noon he knocks on the door, opening it, and coming in before I have a chance to make it downstairs.



“Let’s go. We’ll take my car,” he yells from downstairs.

I run my hand through my still damp hair before walking downstairs.



“You’re so antsy today.” I look at him as he bounces on the heels of his feet. I follow him out, getting inside and leaning my head back, closing my eyes.



When we show up in front of a house, that is when Austin fills me in.



“Where the fuck are we? I thought you said we were going to brunch.” I look over at all the white picket fence houses.



“Yeah, pit stop first. I have to pick up my dry cleaning at Lauren’s,” he tells me, getting out of the car.



Once we make our way around her house, I ask him, “Why are we at her house?”



“She’s having a brunch.” He shrugs. “I may have sent her some penis decorations,” he says to me before walking to the fence at the side of the house.



The first thing I see are all the balloons. Fuck, my hand goes to my mouth. “Holy shit, she is going to cut your dick off with dental floss,” I say before he knocks on the gate and walks into the backyard.



Austin stops in his tracks, mid-step. I almost run into him when I see that it isn’t just a small brunch, but there are about fifteen or so people scattered around the yard.



“Holy shit,” I whisper, looking at Lauren. “Dude, I think she’s going to cry.”

Austin’s eyes snap straight to Lauren.



But I’m not looking at Lauren anymore. In my eyesight is the blonde standing next to her. She’s a knockout. Actually, that isn’t even a good enough word for her. She is breathtaking. Her blond hair moves a bit with the wind. Her blue eyes are almost like the Caribbean ocean that you want to plunge into. I can’t stop looking at her. I don’t even hear what Lauren and Austin are talking about. Instead, I watch the woman, who finally looks over at me. I’m about to say something to her when I hear something about a chocolate willy.



“No, you cannot have a willy chocolate. We are going to eat in a minute.” She turns and storms inside.



“This is not good for anyone. You must be Asshat.” She points to him. “You’ve poked the bear now.”

I don’t say anything else since he turns and follows Lauren inside.

The blonde turns to me. “So, how you doing?” she says in her best Joey Tribbiani voice.



That she is trying to use the best line to ever be said I smirk thinking I might have found my soul mate. Okay, maybe my sex mate, for the night. “It’s looking up now. I’m really hoping it’s going to look up more tonight.” I wink at her and smile.



When she starts to drag her eyes up and down my body while she licks her lips like I’m her next meal, my cock suddenly starts to stir, wanting out.

I hear Rachel yelling, “Daddy, look, a willy.”



“Fuck, this just got interesting. The ex is here,” she says, looking at the gate where a man just walked in and is kissing Rachel’s head. “I better go save Austin and warn Lauren.” She walks away.

I watch her ass sway from side to side. I look down at my hands. Yup, definitely a good fit. I run after her as she closes the back door.



She’s about to knock on the door when we hear Lauren’s voice go high.

“Didn’t you get your revenge already? You penis-bombed my parents’ anniversary party!”



I move behind the blonde and notice that her head goes up to my lips. My hands go directly to her hips. Her head turns to the side. “I want to hear what they are saying.”

She just smiles at me and I’m feeling my hard cock against her back.



“Should I bend over so you can put your ear to the door?”

Fuck me, I think I just jazzed in my pants.



I pull her even closer to me. “You bend over and there will be one more penis added to this party.” I’m about to lean forward and kiss her when I hear Austin finally yell back.



“You made my balls swell to the size of fucking grapefruits. I thought they were going to explode.”

I laugh at that.



“They were fucking huge. I have the pictures to show. Lauren was a pain in his balls, that’s for sure.”

She leans into the front of my chest.



“I did no such thing.” She tries to deny weakly. “But this, this... You pushed it too far.”



“How about we call a truce?” Austin tries to plead. “I don’t think I can take any more. I almost died, and my testicles almost exploded.”



“Fine,” she complies.



“Truce.” I hear whispered.



“You think they’re fucking in there?” We both lean into the door to hear.



“My sister wouldn’t fuck with a party in her house.”



“That’s a shame. Is this a family trait?” I try goading her to see what line she will pass.



“I have no problem having sex with people around.” She winks at me. “I mean, if he was really, really worth it.”

This woman will be the death of me, or I might faint from all my blood going straight to my cock. Which is as hard as a marble statue.



She lifts her hand to knock on the door. “Hey, I don’t mean to interrupt, but, um, Jake is here.”



The door unlocks, swinging open with Lauren standing there with a pink tint to her cheeks and Austin has his hand rubbing his neck.

“What do you mean, Jake is here? Why is Jake here?” she asks with her voice rising with each question.



“Hi”—the woman pushes Lauren aside—“I’m Kaleigh, her favorite sister,” she introduces herself.



“She’s my only sister, and she will be homeless in a second if she doesn’t get out of my way.” Lauren’s voice is angry.



I chuckle behind her. Lauren turns and points at me. “You, if I find out you helped him, it’s going to be on,” she hisses and leans in closer to me when she continues, “like Donkey Kong.” And then she walks away.



“What the fuck does she mean, like Donkey Kong?” I turn to Kaleigh, looking for an answer.



“Oh, I was on that list only once”—she leans in closer to me—“and I begged and cried to get off of it.” She looks at Austin then back at me. “It was like living in that movie The Shining, but worse.”

I feel my face pale at that little tidbit of information.



I point at Austin. “If I get it like Donkey Kong, I’m going to put the pictures of your swollen, abnormally large testicles on a billboard in Times Square,” I threaten him, while Kaleigh just watches us.



“Who the fuck is Jake?” Austin finally asks.



“Her ex. This should be fun,” Kaleigh claims, walking away from us.



“You took a picture of my nuts?” he asks when Lauren storms out.



I shake my head at him. “No, I took a burst of shots of your nuts.” Then I walk out, following Kaleigh. My dick leads the way to her. He hasn’t even met her yet he’s already on radar for her.



“What are you doing here?” I hear Lauren ask a guy who must be Jake.



While I take in the scene, I turn my head, catching one of the waiters passing around some canapés. I also grab champagne from another tray.



“What the fuck are you doing?” I hear Austin hiss at my side while he watches Lauren and her ex.



“I’m eating and drinking,” I say, showing him my full hands. “I mean, this is a party. You did bring me to a party.” I finish off the food. “You should try those mushroom things. They are really good,” I say, finishing off the champagne and signaling the waiter for more. I grab another glass. “Did the ex leave?” I ask Austin as I drain my second glass.



“Yeah, he came to get the kids and forgot it was the party. Guy looks like a douche,” Austin says.

Kaleigh informs Lauren that we are sitting at their table.



“They aren’t staying,” Lauren says before she turns around, heading inside.



“Oh, come now, Lauren. That would be rude,” Dede chides. “You can sit at our table.” She turns to Frank. “Let’s go sit down, honey.”



Once everyone is seated, I look around our table. It’s Kaleigh, Frank, Dede, Lauren, Austin, and Josh, who I found out is a doctor and bears a striking resemblance to Newman from Seinfeld.



He sits next to Lauren, standing up when she gets to the table and pushing her chair in. She looks over at him and smiles. I watch all this take place and then see the tic in Austin’s neck start to throb.



He grabs his glass of wine and downs it in one gulp. “Slow down there, slugger. We don’t want you flying off on one of those penis balloons,” I whisper in his ear while he glares at me.





“So,” Josh starts, looking at Lauren. “I hear congratulations are in order. You’re back in the work force now.” He continues in that annoyingly nasal voice of his, “How does this weekend sound?” He blushes and looks down at his hands. What a putz.



“Oh, um, she can’t do it this weekend,” Kaleigh answers for Lauren. “She’s having her bikini area waxed and styled,” she explains, nodding her head.



“What?” He looks confused.



“Well”—Kaleigh leans in and whispers—“it’s like the Amazon down there.”



I spit water from my mouth, almost fucking choking while their mother puts her hand to her mouth and Lauren throws her fork down on the plate, the clatter hushing the whispers at our table.

“Kaleigh,” she grates out, her jaw ticking.



“What?” she asks. “Was it a secret?” She shrugs. “So sorry.” She brings her glass of wine to her mouth in an attempt to hide her smirk.

My eyes shoot to each of them like I’m watching a tennis match.



“Dear,” Lauren’s mother questions, “are you okay? Is this procedure normal?” She gives her daughter a look filled with concern.



“Mom—” Lauren starts before she is cut off by her father.



“Lauren, it’s been a while since Jake left. Maybe if you”—he gestures with his hand in a circle and his finger sliding in and out—“you won’t be so stressed.”



She slams her hands on the table, the glasses clinking and rocking with the force of it. “I'm not having any hair removal procedures done, because it is not necessary. Can we please just—” This time, she is cut off by her mother.



“So, you’ve had sex since Jake?” Dede asks her, a smile on her face. “This is so good to hear.” She claps her hands together then leans over and puts her hand on Lauren’s. “I thought you had that glow about you.”



“I’m going to the bathroom,” Lauren excuses herself as she gets up and points to Kaleigh. “You”—she growls—“come with me.”



“Oh,” Kaleigh replies, completely unperturbed, “I’m good. I don’t need to go. I’ll just wait here. Keep the guests entertained.”



“Not a word. Or else Donkey Kong,” she promises before she storms off.



“So,” Dede starts, turning to Austin. “How long have you two been dating?” She looks at him and then at the door Lauren just walked through.



Kaleigh laughs. “Oh, they aren’t dating, Mom. He’s her boss,” she helpfully points out. “He sent all these penis balloons.”



Frank looks over at Austin. “You sent all these balloons and ruined all her hard work?” he asks.



“Um, sir, if I could just explain.” Before Austin can say anything else, Frank puts up his hand to stop him.



“I like you,” he declares right before someone clinks their glass and the speeches start.



I put my hand around Kaleigh’s chair while my thumb rubs her exposed shoulder. I lean in to whisper in her ear, “So since we are talking about bikini waxes and everything, will I need a machete?”



She puts her shoulder into my arm, fitting there perfectly. “No machete needed. You see, I have a very well-manicured lawn.” She raises her eyebrows at me.



“We should have a picnic. I heard eating well-manicured lawns can fill up a person.”

Her cheeks pinked.



“I’ve never eaten manicured lawn before, but I have eaten some pretty good sausages.” She bites my ear, making me almost groan, but then Austin kicks my chair to get my attention.



My eyebrows shoot up when Austin says urgently, “Gotta go,” then glances over at Lauren, who is coming straight for us like a bull and Austin is the one waving the red cape. “Now would be good.”



He throws his napkin on the plate in front of him. “This has been fun,” he murmurs, trying to escape.



“Running off so early, guys?” she sing-songs as she comes up behind us. The way she says it, even my balls are inverted.



“We intruded,” Austin says. “Thank you for having us. Dede, Frank, I wish you many more years of happiness.” We rush out on a wave, out the side gate.



“Run,” Austin says the minute the gate closes behind us, and he doesn’t have to tell me twice.

“What the fuck just happened? I didn’t even get Kaleigh’s number,” I whine, getting in the car, not even buckling in before he races away.



“I may have had male strippers show up,” he says, looking into his side-view mirror.



I turn my head, seeing about twelve men all getting into a big bus of sorts. “Yup, you’ve done pissed off the fucking Donkey Kong. She’s going to rain down on you. I suggest you run, move, and don’t look back.” I buckle myself in. “Oh, and don’t tell me where you’re going because I’ll fucking tell her.” I grab my cock in my hands. “She’s not getting next to my pride and joy.”



“She’ll be fine.”



I laugh at him. “You think?” I shake my head. “You have no idea.”







Kaleigh



I don’t know what is going on, but one second I’m talking about eating sausages on my manicured lawn and the next Lauren is storming across the lawn and Austin and Noah are running away.



I get up. “What did I miss?” I look back and forth from the gate where it just slammed and to my sister.



“The entire cast of Thunder From Down Under just arrived.” She looks around to see if the guests are okay.



I get up, raising my skirt a little bit to show off more leg. “Where? Are they inside? Shit, do I look okay?” I fluff my hair.



“Kaleigh,” she whisper-hisses, “they aren’t here anymore. I sent them away.”



I groan and slam one hand on the table. “Why? Why would you do that?” I get up and run to the side gate to see if they’re still in the driveway. “Buzz kill,” I call her as I pick up Rachel. “Can you protect me from Mommy?” I whisper in her ear before blowing kisses in her neck while Lauren sits down and starts her meal of wine.



The rest of the afternoon goes by without any further penis-related incidents. All cupcakes have been consumed, minus the penis cake toppers that Lauren removed before serving them.



Once everyone has left, Lauren plops down into her chair and throws her feet up on the one Austin sat in. “That was fun, right?” I ask, grabbing a strawberry.



“You told people I had a strange excessive hair issue on my hoo-ha that required a complicated bikini wax and styling.” She glares at me.



“I was trying to get Josh to imagine that you're a woman with a hairy bush so he doesn’t ask you out again!” I drink from the wine glass I’m holding in my hand. “You’re welcome.” I smirk.



“What the hell are we going to do with all those penis balloons?”

She looks around. “Asshole,” she grumbles under her breath.



“What’s the story with Noah?” I try to ask casually, thinking back to the conversation we had. I would have let him plow my lawn.



“No idea. He’s Austin’s best friend from what I gathered,” she tells me while looking at Rachel, who is running in circles with, unfortunately, a penis balloon in her hand. “Ten minutes to bath time!” she calls out, hoping she acknowledges her, but she just continues her one-girl—with a penis balloon—parade.



“Mom,” we hear Gabe call from behind us. “Can I go to Jesse’s house to kick the ball around?”



She checks her watch before answering. “Only for thirty minutes, okay?”



“So, what are you going to do to Austin for all of this?” I ask, pointing to the balloons.



“Nothing.” She smirks. “We called a truce.”



I sit up and put my glass down. “I know that smirk. I’ve been on the receiving end of that smirk!”



“I mean, we called truce today, right? We didn’t call truce on Wednesday when he made me run back out for a fucking crisp kosher pickle, because the one that came with his sandwich was limp, right?” she asks me with a perplexed smile on her face. It’s almost like you’re looking into evil.



“What did you do now? From the pictures, his balls were almost the size of Gabe’s soccer ball.” I think back on Noah’s phone that he took out when he got a text from someone. His lock screen was of swollen balls.



She slaps the table. “You saw pictures?” Her mouth is hanging open.



I nod. “I did. Not the actual frank, though, just the beans. But they were ginormous.” I motion with my hands, forming them into huge round objects in the air. “Now, what did you do?”



“Nothing that will make any part of him swell. I will never, ever do something like that again.” She shakes her head. “I may have shredded one of his parking tickets that had to be paid by yesterday so he could avoid his car getting booted,” she confesses quietly, looking into the glass she picked up from the table.



“Holy shit. I hope you kept the photocopies, because you can’t not pay that. He is going to know it was you,” I warn her.



“I know, I know. I kept them, so just relax.” She puts her hands on her hips and states defensively, “I’m going to pay them.”



“When?” I ask her again, earning an eye roll from her.



“Next week,” she replies. “Rach, bath time.” She walks to the back door. “Don’t you dare sit there and judge me, missy.” She points at me. “By the way, the potatoes had butter in them. That’s for the bikini wax,” she says before she turns her back to me and walks inside with the sound of her curses filling my ears.



“Are you fucking insane? I’m vegan. That’s fucking wrong.” I shake my head, picking up a penis straw and throwing it at her, where it nose dives on the table.



I sit down, finishing the rest of my wine while the cleanup crew comes and starts taking down everything.



“Excuse me, ma’am,” one of the men calls me. “Where do you want all the balloons?” he asks me.

I smile at him.



“In my sister’s car.” I point to the gate door. “The minibus in the front, just pile them in there.” He smiles at me and nods, the balloons following him as he walks to the car, shoving most of them in there.



“Take that, Donkey Kong Bitch.” I smile into the wine glass, finishing off the last drop.



I walk inside, closing the door, then walk upstairs right as Lauren comes out of the bathroom. “Are the guys still cleaning up?”



“Yeah, they are almost done.” I smile at her, walking to my room and closing the door. I turn on one soft light in the room, undressing, tossing my dress into the basket. My phone buzzes and I pick it up as I lie on the bed and see I missed out on quite a bit.



There are messages from the studio about a change in the times. Then there is another one from an unknown number.



Hey, I hope I have the right person. Do you have a manicured lawn?



I throw my head back, laughing at the message.



It depends on who is asking. How did you get my number?



I jump onto Facebook while I wait to see if he’ll answer right away.



It’s called stalking 101. I went on Lauren’s Facebook, went to her friends list, found you. Clicked your page, and on your about section I saw your studio name. Clicked the studio and then boom, I got my prize.



I shake my head.



Wow, you put a lot of thought into this process. Well, I should make it worthwhile. I take a picture of my bare legs.



Holy shit, are we exchanging pictures already? This is fantastic news.

The picture is of him lying down, wearing a pair of basketball shorts, on the bed. The elastic rides very low, showing you he’s a landscaper also. His chest perfect, his abs defined. He’s not a muscle man, but it’s the side abs that get me. Cut and lean. That is the best way I can describe him.



Thanks for that. It made it into my spank bank.



I got a lot more where that came from, but I don’t give it away on the first night. Have dinner with me?



When?



Tomorrow.



I shrug my shoulders, thinking what the worse that can happen is.

Sure, where?



My place, your place, the fucking park. I don’t care as long as you're sitting in front of me.



I giggle.

That’s a good one. How about I meet you at your place say 6 p.m.



Perfect. What’s your favorite thing to eat?



I smirk at myself while I answer him.



Cock. Lots and lots of cock. See you tomorrow, Noah. Send me your address.



974 Sherville Rd. Oh and that answer made this happen.



The picture that comes through is his shorts, hiding a very erect cock.



See you tomorrow, beautiful.



I turn on my side, watching the stars twinkle outside. Closing off my light, the lights from outside stream in. I yawn and slowly close my eyes and drift off to sleep, dreaming of blue oceans and eyes that make me get lost.



My night dreams are of the beach, chasing the waves, running, doing cartwheels in the sand. Sitting in the middle of the sand, taking in the beauty of the sun going down. My alarm wakes me with charm bells. Slowly at first, soft, going higher and higher till it’s like a siren.



“Aunt Kay.” I hear Rachel outside my door. “Mom said to get your bony hind downstairs and get the willy balloons out of the car.”



I turn over, laughing while I throw the covers off, grabbing my robe and going to the door. I open the door and Rachel is still standing there. “You’re in big trouble, missy.”

She leans in, whispering as I pick her up, bringing her close to me, “She used her mom inside voice.”



I lean back, my eyes going wide. “Oh, dear.”



“Yes,” she says, nodding, “she talks like this.” She imitates Lauren talking with her teeth clenched.



“Oh, well, I better go get dressed and bring my behind downstairs.” I kiss her neck. “Go brush your teeth while I get dressed.” I put her down, watching her run into her bathroom.



I walk to my drawer, taking out my pink yoga capris with the matching bra. I head downstairs while Lauren gives the ten-minute warning.



I smile as I step into the kitchen. “Good morning, sunshine.” I stop at the coffee machine.



“Did you put the penis balloons in my car?” She turns to ask me, stuffing papers into Rachel’s backpack.



I bring the cup of coffee to my lips. “No.” I shake my head, hiding my smile while I take a sip. “I didn’t put them in your car.” I’m not lying either. I myself didn’t put them in her car.



“My whole car is filled with penis balloons.”



I put the cup down as Lauren yells bus up the stairs. Rachel comes hopping into the room, grabbing her backpack, with Gabe right behind her. He grabs his bag from Lauren, kisses her cheek, then comes over to me and does the same.



“Have a kick-ass day,” I tell him.



“I’m going to kick ass today,” Rachel says, walking out the door.



“Watch your mouth,” Lauren says and follows them outside to the bus.

I pick up my cup and watch them walk to the bus stop. The bus arrives right on time. I wave goodbye to them as Lauren returns.



“You okay to work today?” I ask her, knowing that somehow things between Austin and her aren’t quite what they seem to be.



“I’m more than okay. I’ll be fine now that we have all”—she waves her hand in the air—“that animosity out of the way.”



I laugh at her. “Is that what you’re calling it?” I hold the cup with both hands, taking another gulp.



She glares at me, opening her car door, one helium penis balloon floating up into the sky. We both watch the balloon float off. She opens the back door and the rest slowly float out. “Let them go, Lauren,” I say loudly as Mrs. Flounder comes outside, her hair still in curlers, with a scarf around her head. “It’s raining penises, Mrs. Flounder. They are raining down on us.”



I raise my hand to the sky. She claps her hands together. “I would like to be rained down on.” She winks at Lauren. “For a whole five minutes. That would be my dream.”



I raise my cup to her. “Here’s hoping.”



“I don’t have time for this,” Lauren says, closing the back door, then climbing into the front seat. “Don’t forget the kids.”



“Aye aye, captain,” I say, saluting her. “I have a date tonight.” I wiggle my eyebrows. “A date I hope to become the pretzel.”

She laughs as she pulls out of the driveway.



By the time I make it to the studio doing my routine and making it back home where I get the kids ready and settled, I have just enough time to throw on a dark blue summer dress. I pick up my purse from the bed, tossing the bra and panties that I am happily going without.




When her nose isn't buried in a book, or her fingers flying across a keyboard writing, she's in the kitchen creating gourmet meals. You can find her, in four inch heels no less, in the car chauffeuring kids, or possibly with her husband scheduling his business trips. It's a good thing her characters do what she says, because even her Labrador doesn't listen to her...

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